So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize