i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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