Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize