She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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