i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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