did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize