PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
