you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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