Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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