I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
