OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
