dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
