tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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