If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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