i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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