That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize