He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
