Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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