So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
