Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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