Quick, to the slutcave!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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