"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
