Say something about gay babies.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Someone shattered a urinal.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
