There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
