I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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