Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
