Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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