Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize