For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize