Your tits are I can't wait for
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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