let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i love accidental penises.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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