??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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