is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
