Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dear god my vagina.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
