If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
