drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
