I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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