I CAN MOONWALK!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize