i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
