Why are handjobs necessary in class?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
