I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
