I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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