sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
