and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
