i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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