Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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