Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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