just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think your dad took our porno
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
