Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
