hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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