make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
