guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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