At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
