Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
