you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
