so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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