My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
