i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
