I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
