I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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