if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
