I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
