I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
