Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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