I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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