You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize