just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
