you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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