alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
