Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
