The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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