I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
