I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
