I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
