I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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