I wish i was in the wii world.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
