I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
