Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
