Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
