I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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