dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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