Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
