just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
