Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
