Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
