Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
