Kiss
Puke
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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