I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
