so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
