I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
